This phrase belongs to one of the famous psychotherapists. And I am more than 100% sure that every, absolutely every person has something to tell a psychotherapist about their parents. There is something to cry about or something to be offended by. I have repeatedly observed this with clients or with groups that I work with. As soon as we approach the topic of parents, a lot of pain, tears, suffering arise. This topic is not easy to work through. Regardless of whether the parents are alive or have long been gone. Whether you communicate with them or live as if on different planets. We all come from childhood. And our problems all come from childhood, namely from relationships with the first and most important people in our lives, our parents. As well as other people who were significant to us at that time. Often, we don’t want to talk about this topic. We don’t want to touch it. And even if a person says: “Parents? But I have a perfect relationship with my parents! I wish everyone such people!”, this ideality often has its downside. Parents are some of the most important people in life. Regardless of how long they were present in your story, or even if they simply fulfilled their role for your physical birth. These are people on whom you have been dependent for a long time. Who were “gods” for you in the full sense of the word, because up to a certain age, the physical survival of a child is impossible without parents. Everything they did was mostly done with good intentions, because it is rare to find parents who openly wish harm to their child. But there were moments when you were not understood, pushed away, punished, did not support your initiative, shamed, compared, criticized… Because they thought it was better that way, because they thought it would help, because they were once raised the same way, because they themselves had a hard time and could not cope… There are no ideal parents or parents who would never make mistakes. And every parent either didn't add love somewhere, or passed it on, or was inattentive, or worried too much or cared too much. With some parents, children were forced to grow up too early, with others - to remain infantile for a long time. Every person has such stories. Only most often they are stored in the unconscious part of our psyche. Because the psyche suppresses everything that is painful to interact with. But it forgets nothing. And we reproduce these stories in our later life, build our relationships according to these schemes and create our life story. And no matter what problem we set out to solve in psychotherapeutic work, we always return to the history of relationships with our parents. And we find resentment, anger, fear in the depths of the subconscious. Things that we don't want to contact, that we don't want to meet. These feelings are like outdated things that were taken to a dark room and locked away. But for them to remain unnoticed in this room, a person must spend a lot of energy to "hold the door." Everyone will have such feelings. Because when we experienced them, we were children with our childish picture of the world and our childish understanding, there were not yet those opportunities for awareness and understanding that we have now. In addition, many emotions were dangerous to express, for example, it was impossible to get angry at our parents, because then they would not love us. And if they do not love us, how will I survive in this world without them? And what is important? It is important to have the courage to face these feelings, realize them, relive them and let them go. Without blaming, without justifying, simply accepting and understanding. Yourself, your parents, the world. Only then do real changes come in life. Energy and new strength appear. New ideas and new people come. It's like cleaning your house by throwing out old junk. There is a space and a place that can be filled with joy, love and true enjoyment of life. Isn't it time to do an audit and clean up in your soul? What would you like to get rid of? I wish everyone a new space in your soul that you can fill with what you want and need! The text was prepared by Galina Kapshiy, psychologist/psychotherapist of the Alter Ego psychotherapy center.