Once, at a family consultation, a husband told me skeptically: "But I came to please my wife, I don't believe that family psychotherapy will help, we can figure it out ourselves, and in general, what kind of man am I if I don't solve the problems." But after the first consultation, he had the opposite opinion and how many insights and discoveries there were for him, they say: "I was wrong a lot, often my Ego did not let me understand real problems, I realized a lot, I feel that it will not be like before, my family is the main value of life." You have no idea how much a new spouse can learn about themselves through psychotherapy sessions. Take, for example, the main rule of conflict resolution: "You can never hear each other on emotions!" This is a fact, you can shout, insult, be offended, blame, feel guilty, seek justice, but the result will be equal to what you started with, if not worse. Often, due to our personal characteristics, we cannot understand what is happening and only a detached, professional view of the situation can change it, point out mistakes, false beliefs and feelings. And what is the insidious Karpman triangle worth: “today I will be the victim, and I appoint you as the aggressor, tomorrow the opposite, and the child will be our savior (with the corresponding consequences)” and I will note the most important thing – it is unconscious! Usually, under the pressure of the dynamism of modern life, we do not notice important moments, take everything for granted, forget to thank, cannot rejoice, try to solve personal problems at the expense of others, without noticing this. And who, if not a psychotherapist, can stop you and clarify the problem areas, understand the essence of the situation and solve it; save the family, teach you to hear each other, support, inspire and give happy moments, and ultimately be happy together. The article was prepared by the psychologist of the center Viktoriya Vasylenko